true story: about four months after i’d ended a 20-month relationship i was talking to a friend who’d heard this rule on sex and the city, and was about a year or so out from a relationship that i think had lasted about 3 years. she said, “yeah that upset me, so i asked my older sister about it. i was like, do you think it’s true? and she said no. and i was like, oh good. but then she said, i think it takes twice the length of a relationship to fully get over someone.”Reblogging this to ask, is this whole “spending half the time we were together trying to get over you” concept a thing? By which I mean, is it kind of a big deal? Do people know it?
I’m generally interested in popularly shared guidelines like this (don’t call after nine pm! or seven?), and I don’t know where this came from but this isn’t the first time I’ve heard it.
This is a Sex and the City rule, or at least it makes a prominent appearance in the first season. I always thought it was bullshit, until I suddenly felt WAY BETTER about 7 months after the breakup of a 14 month relationship, and I was like, um, ok, maybe you people have a point.
And LBB said:
I think it’s a thing. It’s the modern day equivalent of the Victorians having set guidelines for how long one is supposed to wear black after a loved one dies.
Ah, that makes sense. This jives with my experience too, but oh god. What if you’re with someone for ten years? Or twenty? You could be grieving for a decade. That is horrible. I mean, my friends were about ready to throw me off a cliff after just a year.
it took me one year, one ill-advised fling, and a drunken make-out session to switch the dial from “trying to start to move on” to “actually starting to move on,” another few months before i was over him, and i’d estimate a total of two years or so before our post-break-up friendship stabilized and we could have totally normal conversations and i stopped being uniquely needy when it came to him. but i could be weird. i think in general though, it just depends.
