Olympic women’s gymnastics: Gabby Douglas and parenting gold - CSMonitor.com
This lady takes Gabby Douglas’ mom to task for sending her daughter to Iowa to train with better trainers, proving that in the Mommy Wars, even having a daughter who is an Olympian can still make you a bad mother.
Lisa Suhay is a bitch.
Let’s get that out of the way.
And who is she to judge the situation of Gabby Douglas’s family? She doesn’t know SHIT.
The Mommy Wars are just another way for white women who gobble up the patriarchal nonsense, like lollipops handed out at the savings bank, to perpetuate classism and racism that permeates our society without examining their own privilege and ignorance.
Lisa Suhay is also a racist; passing huge, ignorant judgment on an African American family, whose father is an Iraqi war veteran and still actively serving and whose mother is on disability and struggling to make ends meet for her children.
Fuck you, you bitch. It must be nice to sit and make toast for your mediocre white boys, while an African American woman fights tooth and nail to help her beautiful and supremely gifted black daughter realize her dreams.
Gabby Douglas has the gold, what do you have?
A whole lot of nothing. Go fuck yourself, you table.
FUCK YOU Lisa Suhay!!!!Mind your own GODDAMN business
and clearly this person has never had to TRULY be supportive of her child’s needs—she lives in a dream world of what she *WANTS* her child’s needs to be. she WANTS her child’s needs to be a “dream mommy” that she made up in her own head.
as a mami, you wanna know what that shit *really* looks like? it looks like going to a game after you worked a 14 hour day, seeing your kid completely and totally drop into a horrific temper tantrum in front of hundreds of community members, trying to comfort the little bastard and being told to go fuck yourself (in kid language) in front of the hundreds of community members, and being screamed at about how you were the stupid asshole (in kid language) who made poor innocent babe sign up for a sport he never wanted to sign up for any fucking mother fucking way (in kid language)—even when you very clearly remember that same innocent babe begging and pleading OMG I WILL DROP DEAD RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU IF YOU DON’T LET ME PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!
this is not fun. this is not an “olympic” mom moment. this is not golden. i don’t treasure this shit. i hate it. and i wish like fuck the little bastards would’ve won so that i wouldn’t have to deal with this shit cuz i’m a tired ass bitch. sweet jesus PLEASE fucking win so i don’t have to deal with your devastated bastard ass tonight.
oh, and guess what. i felt like that when i was a stay at home mom too. but you deal with it. because that’s what your kid needs. they don’t need an olympic mommy moment, and they most certainly don’t need to be fucking “TRAINED” (wtf, bitch?). they need a parent who knows the point of being a parent is not to compete with other parents—but to address their needs, even when they blame you, hate you, and tell you to fuck off for living (in kid language).
if you still have dreams of olympic treasure golden moments when you have kids?—then you’re not really a fucking parent. that simple. you’re a person competing with other people in a competition that they probably have no idea you’re fucking playing.
So, let’s talk about what this is really about, okay? Okay. This is about that aversive concern trolling racism that seems to come out whenever black mothers are in the news for anything positive that involves them taking care of their own children. This is about Gabby & her mom bucking all the bigoted bullshit tropes around single motherhood in the black community that make everyone outside our communities feel so fucking smug. This is about news stories where it’s clear that even though her parents aren’t together, they are absolutely invested in her future & her success. This is about how much they love their daughter & how that love doesn’t fit into a single mythos built by racism. So, concern trolling & blathering about what motherhood should look like as written by people who don’t have a goddamned word to say to black mothers in support, but who are super happy to criticize us no matter what we do. Our kids struggle? All our fault & how dare we point to a damned thing outside of ourselves. They rise to the height of a field? Well their childhood must have been a lonely one, what with all that driving them away from us so they could succeed in spite of their misfortune in coming from our bodies. Now I don’t give a hot tin fuck what any of these trifling bitches think about us, but I’ll be damned if I stand by while they try to tarnish this mother’s sacrifice or this daughter’s success to stroke their own fucking worthless egos.
this is aaaaaaaaaaaall about coded competition—she says this at an earlier point:
Yet you can’t argue with the Olympic results. So maybe I’m the bad parent for not sending my sons away to better schools.
sooooo—-a black woman (who this white woman is very careful to chronicle her “lows” of divorcing the same man twice and being on disability, etc) has an olympian as a child—and that means YOU’RE a bad mom? You *personally*? because a poor black woman has a child who is an olympian?
that whole dream she has up there of making toast and hugging? that’s code language—that’s a tea party dream of what a “real” mom should be. that’s *white middle class* dream. that’s not anything at ALL about her child and her child’s needs. that’s about white middle class insecurity around “losing the competition”—if a poor black mother can birth and mother an olympian—what does that mean for middle class white feminity being inherently ‘better” because they birth and mother “superior” children?