HAHAHA YOU GUYS LOOK WHAT I FOUND SEARCHING MY TUMBLR FOR STEPHANE LAMBIEL TO SEE JUST WHAT THE FUCK I WAS POSTING SO MUCH OF IN THOSE DAYS
this is probably the most ridiculous thing i have ever posted on tumblr and i have posted some pretty fucking ridiculous shit. A SAMPLE:
in his olympic short program, for example: he is a character out of a fairytale. i look at him, in this costume, in this routine, and i feel like i am lost in the woods, and he has found me, and is willing to walk me the rest of the way out of the woods, possibly to his cabin at their edge. he is kindly and radiates decency. on the way we encounter an ogre, or possibly a troll, and he unsheathes his sword - not one of those jewel-encrusted pieces, something basic and functional, because he is of simple folk - and slays it. and then we make love. this will be a recurring theme. i live with him in his cabin at the edge of the woods. we shall make stew and salt meats so they will keep through the winter months. on festival days we will travel into town on horseback, and stay at an inn for two gold pieces, and drink ale.
but then! i see his free skate, and i want to revise the story. now it is cinderella, the version where he falls in love with her long before the ball. the short program outfit, that is how he looks when he meets me in the woods on the days i can get away from my tyrannical stepmother. we bond over stories. stephane likes stories, seeing as how he lives in several of them. perhaps it is i who tell him of the magical zebra with wings. he claims to work at the palace. when the ball happens my fairy godmother, kristi yamaguchi, turns my rags into something not aesthetically dissimilar to the outfit in which oksana baiul won her gold medal. i don’t want to meet the prince. i just want to talk to him and beg to be hired as a cook in the palace kitchens so i can be with my love. but i arrive and - he is the prince, wearing this outfit, approximately. i run outside, feeling betrayed. my handsome driver evgeny plushenko turns back into evan lysacek. it is very tragic and i cry. but! i have left my skate on the palace steps, he finds me, and you know the rest.
…look, when you’re an unemployed mentally ill recent college dropout sequestered in your mom’s basement in a part of nyc that may as well be the suburbs in many respects while all your friends are out of town, like, graduating and shit, and you’ve already watched all five seasons of LOST that exist thus far, you have to make your own fun. WHATEVER, I THINK I’M HILARIOUS.
