College Candy: "The Stigma Against Rough Sex"
both the college candy piece & the SATI piece linked on the bottom are good reads - though if reading about couples consensually playing with lack of consent [she later put up an entry clarifying that the safe word is elephant] freaks you out maybe skip the latter.A common mantra of BDSM culture is “Safe, Sane, and Consensual”, something I thought everyone knew about, but even a prominent disclaimer failed to convince the critics that I’d truly provided my consent. And perhaps, that was what bothered me most of all. These commenters, who decried my partner as “disgusting” and my relationship as “demeaning”, were simultaneously refusing to recognize my agency in an interaction that took place between two people. Rough sex wasn’t anti-feminist; this was. I said that I had consented to all the activities, yet they refused to believe that could be true. Instead, they assumed that my partner must have somehow pressured me into it, that I couldn’t possibly have played an equal role in shaping our sexual interactions.
Today’s College Candy piece on the reaction from commenters to an account of rough sex I blogged about on Sex and the Ivy.
